Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
