omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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