I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
