how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
