You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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