It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
