How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
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Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
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I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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