Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
