It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
