I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
