if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize