wrigley field is MILF paradise
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You took a bar mat shot.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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