listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize