Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
