apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
