haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i will never coherently bang her
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
