you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
