if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
