I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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