i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize