But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
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I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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