be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
