Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
