lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
