Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
