I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
