so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
