dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
