My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
