Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
