it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
