We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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