So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize