they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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