Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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