So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
