If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
