Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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