U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Even my vagina gasped.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
