hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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