i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
