that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
