The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
