i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
