I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
