You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
