I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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