I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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