She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
