Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
