I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
