where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
40s are totally the cure
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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