So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
