come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
