I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
