i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
