mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
