Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
