Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
