Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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